Sunday, May 31, 2009

Hot Pursuit!

Hey guys! I'm back :D

I'm going to be honest here, I didn't really feel up for coming back - what, with the busy life I live these days and all - but hey, beggars can't be choosers, eh? Hehe.

It's been a while. Over the past five weeks, I've been busy pimpin' New York, destroying birthday parties, hurting people at soccer, getting drunk on an empty stomach, and running from the law like the rebel I am, lol.

Last night was pretty wild.

So what does a world-famous blogger like me, do when he's bored? It was 11 p.m, and most of Mumbai's beta males and beta females were just turning in for the night. Hah, losers. I was just climbing out of bed, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

A night of adventure awaits.

I called Rushabh and asked if he wanted to hang out. Now this was a rhetorical question, but he invariably has a rhetorical answer.

"I'm talking to my girlfriend."

I wonder how they get along sometimes. His girl is like at least 5 years elder to him, and he has to talk with a hideously try-hard American accent to keep up with her.

But such is love, they say.

Unfortunately, I'm not 'them', so I proceeded to tease the living shit out of my best friend :P This means a no-holds-barred tongue-lashing about cougars, sex predatory, and him being secretly bisexual.

This got him out of his shell a bit, and he finally hung up on his girl, when I unceremoniously told her to "Fuck off."

Yeah, bite me, bitch!

By now, it was 3 a.m.

Perfect time to head out for a drive! So we took out his bike, and raced across town.

It's a strange thrill when you have the wind blowing in your hair. All the peasants and beggars race by in a blur before they ever have a chance to beg you for your next quarter. My favourite part is the lights - how the streetlights whiz past your head, one after the other. It's liberating. It reminds me of taking off in an airplane.

Suddenly, I spot a roadblock, with policemen and a big bad police van and all. I don't think about it - the lights are too distracting :P

Then it hits me.

Me: DUDE! POLICE!
Rushab: What? No...where?
Me: AHEAD OF YOU, DUMBASS!
Rushab: Oh...shit.

By this time, we were about 10 feet away from the policeman, who was signalling us to stop. We were two underage kids, without a licence, without a helmet, and out in a rough part of town at 3 a.m. Good luck explaining that away.

Me: TURN LEFT AND ACCELERATE!!! FAST!!!

Instead, Mr.Rushy yanks it into the opposite lane. Perfect, now we're running into oncoming traffic. Perfect.

By this time, the police guy is hysterical. He's shouting for us to stop, running after us, shouting into his walkie talkie thingee. It was scary stuff; but he didn't stand a chance. At this point, we were flying at about 90 km/hr, and weaving in and out of on coming traffic, like a downhill skier on steroids.

Suddenly, up ahead I spotted another police van. My face flushed and my skin went white. I was so sure we were getting fuckered tonight.

I'd heard of what happens in jails. I wasn't looking forward to having my anal virginity taken. And that by some hairy Maharashtrian dude.

Shit, I thought I was going to piss myself. So we ditched the bike and hid out for sometime, while the coast cleared.

I called my beloved girlfriend in the meanwhile and almost tried to make her promise that if I died she would take care of my pet soft toy Trevor and that she would try to seduce either Bono or Roger Waters one day.

It was cool.

1 comment:

  1. Rushabh has a girlfriend?
    :O
    Dude.I'm heartbroken.

    ReplyDelete