Thursday, June 25, 2009
The Fine Art of Bargaining
"Anks, lets just get the Sims 3, and then we can like pretend that I'm not there for a few days while I play the game!"
Hmm, does she love a friggin game more than her adorable, caring boyfriend!?
Well, as you all know, I am the quintessential hopeless romantic. However, on this day, I was feeling romantically hopeless, so I took my lovely GF on a date to the sweltering hustle and bustle of Irla.
Set in the backdrop of the beautiful scenery of a sewage swamp, was this shady dude selling pirated game CDs. We walked up to him.
"Hey, I want the Sims 3."
"Of course sir, give me a minute."
Everything was going smoothly, until we came to the subject of the price. The conversation was in hindi, but this is the best I can do to translate:
"Haha, are you fucking mental? Do you know Samir? Cuz I know him. I always buy from here" (lies)
"Okay okay, just because you know Samir, I'll give it to you for 450."
"Fuck you, get serious or I'm leaving."(Turn to leave)
"Ok ok! 300!"
"Listen, (point to face) ismein tumhe kaunsa bhaag chutiya dikhta hai?"
"(Almost crying now) Arey dost, I have a business to run here. If you buy 4 DVDs for 200 rupees, mai toh kangal ho jaunga!"
I finally got him to 280. I turned to my girlfriend with a triumphant smile, having won this long and arduous battle.
Then the same dude came up to Julia and goes like "Hey madam, ek photo please?"
Me: "Oh no no no no no no no no no fuck no."
And that was that.
Later that night...
Jules: "FUCK! THE GAME DOESN'T WORK!"
Me: "Don't worry babe, tomorrow we'll go and pwn him :)"
The next day...
My fists were clenched, there was fury in my eyes, and the testosterone was now pumping thick and fast.
Oh I was going to give him a piece of my mind, I was!
After all that bargaining, the fucker sold me a non-working DVD!
My thoughts were focused but my mind was racing as the rickshaw imperiously pulled into Irla and the Sewage Dump.
Darth Vader and Batman music was playing in my head at the same time, as I swaggered over to the CD guy.
I looked him in the eyes, imagining him trembling before my knees, begging me to spare his life. I told him.
"This CD doesn't work."
"Oh okay, I'm sorry. I'll get you another one..."
We waited a couple of minutes, and he got us a new copy, and that was that.
On the way home...
Julia: "We sure pwned him..."