Monday, July 13, 2009

Believe in Miracles

Today is a very special day for me. So I'm going to tell you about a very special story to me. I don't think I've ever told this to anyone in such detail before. Hence, ladies, gentlemen and those undecided, without further ado, I present to you:

Part IV: Love At First Fight?

14th July 2008

The hallowed name had been whispered around fleetingly over the past few days. We were all noobs here. We didn't know a lot about this famed festival of strobe lights and drunken madness, but we didn't dare expect anything of it, because the one thing we did know, was that it would be way, way, waaay past our expectations.

The famed place was about 20 minutes by tram from our accomodation. Between the tunnels of Korsvagen and the vast open space surrounding Scandinavium, is the magnificent...Svenska Massan. Yes, THIS is what we'd come here for. It's official name is Club Gothia. People call it...The Disco.

It was absolute madness. Seriously, think about being a couple of hormonal 16 year old guys, and going to a country where the chicks DIIG you for being Indian. I mean, seriously, I was not used to this kind of attention. Where they live, everyone has blonde hair and blue eyes. Nice B-)

Then, picture that hormonal 16 year old in this kind of country, going to a disco that attracts 4,000 people between 14-19 years old every night. And you have yourself the recipe for Epicness.

As you can see from this picture, we were excited about it already :D

After losing 5-0 in the morning to some German team, the rest of the guys didn't feel like a night of partying was in order. Oh well, fuck 'em! :D Personally, I'd never been stupid enough to hope that India would do well at a football tournament. So me and Hari decided we would tear up Gothenburg. Prathamesh the midget decided to tag along too, and thank God he tagged along! You shall see why.

Anyway, our team volunteer was this Doctor Chick from Hungary called Isabella. Our vice captain had the biggest crush on her. The look on his face was priceless when I told him that she had invited me out with her. Hahahaha, that was hilarious. Guess that explains why he hasn't returned my calls for a year now :P But that's a story for another day. Isabella, had told us to go early, because the queues can get pretty long.

The Disco runs from 7 p.m-12 a.m. We reached there at around 8. First, we were looking around and were There's no one here! Prathamesh was sure that we were going to meet a cock-farm. Then I reminded him that we were not in his backyard. This was Sweden, people! Sure enough, we turned the corner and found a queue: Jaw drop moment no. 24543634

Seriously, it stretched for miiiiiiles. I mean, absolute miles. Hari the bastard insisted that we walk closer to the queue, so he can check out the 1000-odd hot 16 year old model-type girls that were waiting in line. I mean, seriously, it was ridiculous.

I obviously didn't object, hahaha.

Anyway, we got to the back of the queue, and knew we were in for a bit of a wait. We killed time rating the billions of hot blonde girls in sunglasses and short skirts passing by. Well, there were a lot of them. And an uncomfortable amount of them were ogling me. I thought I must have a mole the size of a potato in the middle of my face.

After an hour of waiting, I had seriously had enough. That's when Prathamesh spotted something conspicuous. He goes: "Dude...this rail is not connected. We can cut thru here!"

Me: I don't know man...are you sure? I don't want to get kicked out and wait another hour.
Him: Just come. I'm going.
Me: Aight, Aight! Wait up...

And that was that, we cut the queue.

Have you ever sensed a burning, seething hatred in the back of your head? Because at that moment I could. From the 2 girls that we had cut in front of. Cristiano Ronaldo claims that he thrives on this kind of hatred. To be honest, it scared the living shit out of me, lol. It's not hard to recall that piercing stare right in the back of my head. Their eyes were acid, and I hadn't even looked at them yet.

Over the course of the next few minutes, I proceeded to get more and more uncomfortable. I remember thinking that these girls were throwing everything they had in their chick-repertoire. Feet shuffling, throat clearing, it was all there. To top it all off, Some girls ahead of us were snitching out line-cutters to the authorities. I had to do something - fast.

I turned around.

Staring back at me were 2 girls, about the same age as me I estimated. Really tall, too. But then everyone in Sweden is like 7 feet tall. I panicked. Not only were they gonna call the authorities to kick my ass, THEY were going to kick my ass too, lol.

I tried to think of something to say, but the blonde one was disturbingly distracting. Finally, the best I could muster was "'s 20 to get in, right?"

The response I heard was probably the shortest 'Yes' in history. She didn't look like she wanted to talk. She seemed bored. How dare she! Even as I was quivering in my pants, I could not take this insult to my pride so lightly. I made it my mission to pick her up, but it had never been so hard to start a conversation.

Hari and Prathamesh had turned their heads too. I can't get shot down in front of them! This situation was getting increasingly awkward, increasingly fast, lol. I ploughed on - " guys playing or what?"

Again, the blonde one replied. Yes. It was becoming increasingly clear who was the more fiesty of the two. I honestly had nowhere to take this conversation, and the security guards were fast closing in. However, they came and went, and these nice girls didn't rat us out. I now relaxed and started talking with them more fluently. Hmm, she might have a chance with me after all. ;-)

I remember telling those girls that I was an Indian Maharajah and that I had a pet elephant at home and all.

After you're not worried about some big thug picking you out of the queue and throwing you by the wayside, I realized that it was quite easy to become a cocky bastard.

"Where're you from?"
"I'm an Indian maharajah. I own an elephant too. You guys should come over sometime! And my friend here, Raja Siddhanth Hariramani XVI is the Crown Prince of Agra. I'm sure you've heard of the Taj Mahal?"
"...and what about your other friend?" (They were pointing at Prathamesh)
"Oh, that's the team slave. He doesn't play, he has only been brought to Sweden because the government is now promoting equal opportunity. He gets water and food for us, though. In the club here, he's going to carry our jackets around..."

The brunette was cracking up. I don't think she said a word in the whole 30 minute conversation, she just kept giggling away to gloria. I thought that was funny, lol. The blonde, not so much. She didn't believe that I had a pet elephant :( I had to press on!


"So...what's your name?"

AHA! Some interest at last! When she shows you interest like this, you shoot her down epically.


"My name is... (looks at Prathamesh's shirt) 50 Cent."
"Haha, come on! Tell me!"
"I'll take you to the Candy Shop..."


"How old are you?"
"8? WTF? No, really, how old are you?"
"How long are we going to be in this line? My mommy is waiting for me at home!"


Among all this, I decided that the blonde girl interested me a lot. Not only was she really hot, but she was incredibly witty, insulted me as much as I insulted her, and spoke perfect English. I had to have her.

So I decided to show interest to her friend. Remember, this makes the target jealous. When you see signs of jealousy (her cutting into the convo, etc) Give her a back handed compliment ;-D Sneaky, I know, lol.

So I turned my attention to the brunette. This was hard, because she seemed terrified of me. I mean, she was all giggly and all, but when I spoke to her, it seemed like she thought I was going to choke her and then beat the shit out of her. Lol.

Me (to brunette): So is this your first time here?
(Blonde interjects): Yeah, first time at Gothia!

Aha! The trap has been set, and she's walking right into it.

Me: Wow, you have the most beautiful blue eyes...
(She probably thinks I'm going to kiss her ass now :P)
Me: ...actually you know what, they're the 54th most beautiful blue eyes I've seen today. I think I'm going to call you No.54 :D
Her: Nooo! That's so rude!

I've played that moment over in my head a hundred times :D

Slowly, I could sense that the blonde girl was taking a liking to me. Nothing major, but I was making progress. I decided I would PWN her one more time, so I could quickly increase her attraction for me afterwards.

"Hey, pull my finger."
"Come on, just pull my finger!"
"No, I won't pull your finger." (WTF? This is NOT PART OF THE PLAN! NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!)
"Umm...ummm...if you don't pull my finger, something REALLY BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN"
"Really? What could be worse?"
"Worse than pulling my finger?"
"Yeah" *innocent smile*

Shit, I had lost at my own game.

You know, most of the time people wake up one day and realise that they've fallen in love. Some people need dreams to be able to realize it. Some people need logical thought to be able to realize it. Some people need to see a pair of DD tits to realize it.

For me, the moment she did that, I knew I had fallen for her. There was something irresistibly attractive about her personality. I had to find out who she was.

"Hey guys, I never got your names?"
The brunette spoke first. "Evelina."
Then I turned to the blonde.

I could feel myself shivering a bit as the adrenaline crept down my spine.


On the way to Stockholm to catch our flight home, I turned to Hari and asked him his favourite memory from the tournament. His was our epic last night in Gothenburg (Which you will hear about)

Then, he asked me mine. I said, "Dude, you remember on the first day we went clubbing, those two...girls in the queue?"
"That's my favourite memory. I think I've fallen for her."
"Haha, dude I bet you 500 bucks that she won't even remember you"
"You're on."

Today, it's been exactly a year since that day, and me and Julia have been together for 10 months. Right now, she's sleeping in my lap and whining for being woken up.

The next time you look up to the stars, trust them - because it is written.

Stay tuned for the next installment!


  1. Gosh!

    You're a writer? Or a comedian? Haven't decided yet. You're story or text what so ever,, is amazing! I've never in my whole life, (seriously) red something this good written by a guy, or should I say man? HAha. No offense but the majority who can express feelings in a good way has the sex: women But you're greeeat!
    This girl...Does she live in Sweden? And how do you, (in that case) meet each other?!

    I hope my english was readable;)
    Marvelous writing.
    Keep up!!