Monday, January 19, 2009

A Very Short Martin Luther King Day.

So apparently this guy is really popular around here. Popular enough to have a public holiday in his honor. [Notice how I started spelling like a yank already?] But this is not right. Just not right. I mean, do you ever see a Remembering Joker day? I'm pretty sure Heath Ledger has touched more lives than this guy has. But I decided to honor this great man anyway by waking up at 4 in the evening :)

Anyhow, I was walking to the mall today after dark, you know the usual, humming along to Imagine by John Lennon and stuff, looking all cool in my sweatshirt and sneakers, when I suddenly hear a strange sound from behind me. I stopped in a cold sweat and turned around, and right there, wrapped around a short fence, were these pair of darkish green eyes staring back at me. It was a rattlesnake. The fear is paralysing. But I can tell you this, the fear of being paralysed is a heck of a lot more real! I ran like a fuckin' lunatic. I mean, can you imagine, that snake wrapping itself around you, being at it's mercy, losing all your freedom and all that you hold dear in a matter of seconds? Truly terrifying.

Speaking of snakes and other such slimy, slithery things, the American free market is even worse. For those not hardened enough - those like me - it is impossible to go to the mall and not buy something totally worthless and overpriced. Here's what happened :

I walked into this store, because they had some good music playing. So I decided to check it out. Instantly, this guy in a hoodie and surfer shorts (wow, casual dressing, much?) comes upto me and asks if he can help me. Wow, the American people really are very helpful. I tell him I appreciate that he thinks us Indians are so fucking stupid, but I'd much rather talk to somebody who actually works at the store. He says he does work at the store. Oh. In a hoodie and surfer shorts. Oh.

"So, can I help you, brah?"
"Nah, just lookin' around man."
"Are you looking around for anything in particular?"
"No, like I said, just looking around."

I come across some nice looking caps. I'm checking one of them out. Sure enough, he's back, hounding me.

"Hey, you like those caps?
"You have really good taste. You must be Indian. I know a lotta Indians who come in here brah. They're the ones who buy all the coolest stuff. I mean, the Pakistanis, on the other hand, yeah they're really cheap. Not saying anythin', just puttin' it out there brah. So, you wanna buy that cap brah?"

"How much is it for?"



But no, this is a matter of National pride now. My heart fills with patriotism and nationalistic sentiment. I have to get that cap now.

"Okay, I'll have it."

"Oh, sorry brah, it's $40 dollars." THAT is pushing it. A little too much for a cap don't you think?

"...oh, and plus tax."

Yes, these American species are smart.

1 comment:

  1. But Chinkies are smarter.. & trust me I could never lose a bet on them !!